We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
one two three fourrrrnication!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
