so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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