He kissed a someone with a penis
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
