maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
