i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
