i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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