In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
