Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
