Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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