Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
