Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
