yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
