The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
