I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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