Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
