Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize