Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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