I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
