Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
