i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
