Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
