I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
