I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
