Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
