Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
