Please, let me fuck your mom
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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