I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
