What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
