All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
