shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
