the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ugly people sure do ruin things
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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