dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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