my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
