Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
