What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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