it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
