watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
