so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
