forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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