i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
