Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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