so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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