How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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