i think my tv is drunk
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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