I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Drunk is a universal language darling
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