Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
