I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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