i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
