Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
