I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
